Love Cowen's quote and the overall sentiment, Paul. Never knock enthusiasm. It costs nothing to give someone a small lift. And btw - I think what you are doing is cool, keep going. For real. You're a big inspiration for many people like me shifting to the unconventional path.
Great article! I have preteen kids that I am raising and also ones I am teaching. This is a timely post for me as I am studying up on effective ways of cheerleading and coaching them to explore and pursue their aptitudes. One is the captain of an online "racing team" and is trying to motivate his players... I really appreciate your appreciation of supporters. We can't all be "makers". But we can all shine when we contribute to their success.
I had been thinking of ways to meaningfully engage my email list again. Starting with genuine interest in what they are working on and supporting people is a great way to start.
I find when I'm more honest about how I'm feeling with things, others tend to let down their guard and admit the same thing. It helps me sincerely connect with others as human beings trying to figure out life together instead of acting like I have it all together.
I’m right there with you on this topic, Paul. Reminds me of how impactful college was for me with those few professors who were more like friends and mentors who raised my level of ambition.
I had some people like that while in med school, too, but I wasn’t interested in continuing in that direction, unfortunately.
Now I’m recognizing that I actually need the push from others to raise my ambition again. It’s not purely self-generated, like I thought before. One question I have is:
How did the people who believed in you and raised your ambition come into your life?
Was it serendipitous? Or did you do some active mentor searching in some way? A mix of both?
Aug 21, 2022·edited Aug 21, 2022Liked by Paul Millerd
"[...] modern culture and the stories we tell ourselves about how life should go keep us in ego protection mode for far too long": since I've been offering some of my free time for mentoring sessions, I've had quite a few people asking me how much the second session would cost.
And I've replied quite a few time "if it costs me nothing, why you should pay me?".
We are so used to monetizing everything that people are taken aback when you do something for free that they think you could've charged for.
Another aspect that I noticed is that people almost never come back to you, even when the feedback from the first session is really positive.
Sure, it might just be that they go on about their lives, but some part of me thinks that, even if it's for free, it's really hard for people to ask for help or even an opinion, because we fall back into ego-protection mode (and I'm the poster boy for that: I've been offering free mentoring sessions for almost two years, but I have yet to go out and look for mentors for myself...).
dude no joke you have been one of those people for me. When no one was reading my newsletter you would email me and say "this is REALLY GOOD - keep going." and I did, and look at me now? I'm a billionare
We are so entangled with this feeling of competition around us that we forget to ever think and uplift others. And in case someone is selflessly doing it, you would be doubting the intentions. Having said that, if you are on the right path and believe in others, you will build a camaraderie with the right set of people eventually.
Thanks, Paul for this much-required positive inspiration.
Love Cowen's quote and the overall sentiment, Paul. Never knock enthusiasm. It costs nothing to give someone a small lift. And btw - I think what you are doing is cool, keep going. For real. You're a big inspiration for many people like me shifting to the unconventional path.
Great article! I have preteen kids that I am raising and also ones I am teaching. This is a timely post for me as I am studying up on effective ways of cheerleading and coaching them to explore and pursue their aptitudes. One is the captain of an online "racing team" and is trying to motivate his players... I really appreciate your appreciation of supporters. We can't all be "makers". But we can all shine when we contribute to their success.
Really enjoyed this article Paul!
I had been thinking of ways to meaningfully engage my email list again. Starting with genuine interest in what they are working on and supporting people is a great way to start.
I find when I'm more honest about how I'm feeling with things, others tend to let down their guard and admit the same thing. It helps me sincerely connect with others as human beings trying to figure out life together instead of acting like I have it all together.
Always appreciate your openness to share while also bringing a very important message to light. Keep it up, Paul.
I’m right there with you on this topic, Paul. Reminds me of how impactful college was for me with those few professors who were more like friends and mentors who raised my level of ambition.
I had some people like that while in med school, too, but I wasn’t interested in continuing in that direction, unfortunately.
Now I’m recognizing that I actually need the push from others to raise my ambition again. It’s not purely self-generated, like I thought before. One question I have is:
How did the people who believed in you and raised your ambition come into your life?
Was it serendipitous? Or did you do some active mentor searching in some way? A mix of both?
"[...] modern culture and the stories we tell ourselves about how life should go keep us in ego protection mode for far too long": since I've been offering some of my free time for mentoring sessions, I've had quite a few people asking me how much the second session would cost.
And I've replied quite a few time "if it costs me nothing, why you should pay me?".
We are so used to monetizing everything that people are taken aback when you do something for free that they think you could've charged for.
Another aspect that I noticed is that people almost never come back to you, even when the feedback from the first session is really positive.
Sure, it might just be that they go on about their lives, but some part of me thinks that, even if it's for free, it's really hard for people to ask for help or even an opinion, because we fall back into ego-protection mode (and I'm the poster boy for that: I've been offering free mentoring sessions for almost two years, but I have yet to go out and look for mentors for myself...).
dude no joke you have been one of those people for me. When no one was reading my newsletter you would email me and say "this is REALLY GOOD - keep going." and I did, and look at me now? I'm a billionare
We are so entangled with this feeling of competition around us that we forget to ever think and uplift others. And in case someone is selflessly doing it, you would be doubting the intentions. Having said that, if you are on the right path and believe in others, you will build a camaraderie with the right set of people eventually.
Thanks, Paul for this much-required positive inspiration.
Thanks for writing this. Great read with hard to accept truths and inspire
What a great and generous topic. Thanks for this.